A Diary's Worth a Trillion Words
by Neko-chanXDemyx
Summary: Different, interesting entry's from Rinny-chan's diary about her love life. RinXLen, twincest
1. Ipod Quizzes are supposed to be FUN

**Neko-chan: Hm… Not really sure how to describe this fanfiction… Just a little look into the amusing troubles of Rin's love life and how she deals with them: by ranting about it in her Diary xD**

**Each chappie will be relatively short, but hopefully I'll update more than I do others.**

**HOPEFULLY.**

**Anyway…**

**READ AND REVIEW, AND ENJOY THE STORY!**

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Lepords. I love lepords._

_Date: 4/12/11_

_Subject: Ipod Quizzes are supposed to be FUN…_

_ So yesterday, me and Len were chillin at Luka-onee's house with her and Gakupo. The original plan was to have a small fire outside and roast smores. However, the 'clear skies and sunny day' that the weatherman foretold of consisted of constant rain, storms, and a freakin tornado or two, so that plan was ruined. Instead, we spent our time in the basement doing those weird Ipod quizzes that seem to be popular lately. You know, the ones that involve you asking a question, putting your Ipod on shuffle, and using the title of the next song that shows up as the answer to your question? Yeah? Those?_

_ Well. Normally, those things amuse me to no end. And it started out similar when we first began asking questions. We all laughed hysterically when we asked "What is Gakupo's theme song?" and 'Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy' came up. And the look on both Luka and Gakupo's face when they both got songs sung by each other when they asked 'what they liked in a guy/girl'. _

_ However, that thing HATES me. I swear, that Ipod of Luka's has a freaking soul, and it's life purpose is to screw with me… seriously._

_ "Gakupo, your sister is… "Dude looks like a Lady"_

_ Insert laughter here._

_ "Len, your sister is…"Thinking of you"_

_ Insert WTFFACE here._

_ Follow with me blushing._

_ Follow with Luka commenting that 'I DID seem to be staring off into space quite a bit..'_

_ Follow with me murdering her and throwing the Ipod out of a building while it's tied to a bomb._

_ …OK, so maybe that last part was a lie. BUT STILL._

_ What's even more upsetting? IT GOT WORSE. _

_ "OK, new question: What is my love life like?... 'Obvious' …U-um.. okay, Rin? Your love life is like… 'S.E.X.' ..." Then they freakin laughed, and Luka asked what it is I've been doing with Len lately._

_ After that, I angrily told the stupid small contraption to stop playing embarrassing songs involving me and Len. _

_ And it did._

_ Oh… it did. _

_ "Aw… this question is kinda depressing…" Luka'd said._

_ "Lemme see! 'Is it actually possible for 'insert your crushes name here' to really like me?"_

_ The Ipod's response?_

_ Impossible. _

_ …_

_ That thing continued to play either really depressing or awkward songs for me _AND _Len the rest of the night._

_ It._

_ Sucked._

_ ASS._


	2. Pocky

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 52/11_

_Subject: Pocky…_

_Today I was sitting in homeroom with Miku, eating Pocky and marveling over the amazing taste. Miku and I talked for a good 10 minutes about how strange it was that something so simple could be so addictive… and then we looked at the ingredients._

_Well.. the third listed ingredient happens to be chocolate liquor. That… was surprising. And even if it's an incredibly small amount of alcohol, the fact the substance was in my favorite treat (besides oranges, obviously) at all was concerning… And to be honest, it made the entire thing a bit cooler to eat. Not to mention, it was pretty interesting to watch the faces of people when we handed them a piece and told them our discovery. _

_Then once the buzz of excitement from that wore off, we continued to look at ingredients. I FLIPPED when I found 'rapeseed oil'. I mean, dude! It's freakin RAPEseed… my first thought was DATERAPE FOOD! Then Miku texted Chacha the question. She asked 3 times, and got the same answer each time… that it's poisonous for consumption and 'can be used as a lubricant'. _

_Now, I looked it up a few minutes ago and saw that it wasn't that extreme…but that didn't change how it affected the rest of my day. Apparently, rumor spread that 'I was running around with rapeseed and feeding it to everyone.' Well, LUCKY ME, Len found out. We had been walking towards our home for about 5 minutes. Out of nowhere, Len turned to me and said, "Rin, I heard about what you're doing, and it needs to stop."_

_Let's just say I was a LITTLE confused. _

_…and the fact that he thought I was denying it when I asked what he was talking about made it even worse._

_He freakin gave me a lecture on how bad drugs were (I'd given up at arguing at this point and just listened with a 'WTF' expression), when he said, "… and what's worse, is out of all the drugs you could be using, you're using DATERAPE on your friends!"_

_Dude…_

_It was HORRIBLE. I facepalmed, and tried to tell him the truth, but he cut me off and told me in his EXACT WORDS, "Rin, I don't want you to feel like you have to use drugs on friends for those types of things. If you really feel the need to do those kinds of things, you let me know and we'll see what we can do."_

_…_

_i…_

_…uncool…_

_I thought his face was slightly pinkish, but I could TELL. My face… it was HORRIBLE… My eyes were freakin wide as shit, my face... God knows how red it turned… and whats worse, YES I GETS WORSE, is that I was too stunned to say anything. My only response was a nod. A NOD. And though at the time it was meant to show I listened, HE DIDN'T TAKE IT LIKE THAT. _

_Hold on_

_…Len just walked in, asked me if 'I needed anything…special.' _

_FML_


	3. Fans are crazy Flat out CRAZY

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 54/11_

_Subject: Fans are crazy. Flat out CRAZY. _

_Today, I was bored in our English class. We were all in the computer lab. Our reason for being here was to work on a book report that I'd already finished 3 freaking days ago. After beating all the games on Notdoppler and arguing with Cleverbot, my Gumi told me to go to a site called . She told me that there were "50 bajillion" different stories for "a bajillion and a half" different animes, movies, and books. Bored out of my mind, I decided to follow the advice I presumed to be exaggerated and went on to the site. _

_The first thing I did was click random categories, testing Gumi's claim on the 'bajillion and a half' different animes and such. Though I don't quite believe there were THAT many, I do admit they had quite a large selection. _

_After a few minutes, the bell rang, and we had to leave class, but I ended up going back on the site later that day when I was at home._

_I skimmed through the selection of different ones I knew. I laughed at the Twilight fanfictions, read a few poorly written ones for anime, and then clicked Misc._

_… They had a 'Vocaloid' section._

_I couldn't believe it when I saw it, so I clicked it. Immediately, I noticed a few things._

_1.) At least every other fanfiction had me and Len listed as characters_

_2.) Almost every one of those had 'Romance' as one of the categories it was in_

_3.) People were writing stories about us in freakin INDONESIAN. _

_I facepalmed, getting a few strange looks from the people around me, but decided ultimately to ignore the first two things and simply see what I could do about the third thing. I noticed the 'Language' button at the top. After clicking the arrow and selecting 'English', I looked at the other settings. _

_Didn't care about how it was sorted…_

_Genre? Let's go for… humor._

_…wtf are these ratings? Idk, let's just go with all of them._

_English…_

_Length… I don't care. _

_Characters? After looking left and right, I selected me and Len. _

_Hey, I was curious!_

_._

_Anyways, I clicked 'Go' and waited while the page loaded. _

_After a while of searching, I eventually found a fanfiction that caught my eye. It appeared to be a one-shot about me and Len, and someway or another, alcohol was involved. At the time, I laughed at the mental image of Len stumbling around like a retard, ignored the odd words 'LEMON WARNING' in caps lock, and clicked it._

_It had started out pretty amusing, right? Just like I'd visualized, the fanfiction included Len stumbling around like an idiot slurring random crap like a retard. I made a mental note of the title to use for possible blackmail later. _

_I continued reading, and it started to get a lil'…um… interesting. Suddenly, they were writing about me and Len being in a room together, and first they started describing him confessing to me and forcing me into a kiss. I blushed a bit, but I read teen novels all the time. I know how they can get, and am used to reading a few paragraphs and the creepiness being over. Despite the fact it had been a bit more awkward considering…well, it was written about me and Len… I decided to continue anyway._

_…_

_And then they started getting a little creepy._

_Suddenly they were writing about clothes coming off, and I flipped. Eager to get past the creepiness, I scrolled down a few paragraphs, hoping that someone in the story'd come in and shock 'them' out of the moment._

_…_

_… They didn't._

_…I have never been more scarred in my life. And will never read anything with the word 'Lemon' in it again. In fact, I'll probably never be able to touch the FRUIT again._

_…And I have a feeling that next time Len comes in to check in on me and my 'date rape issues' again, it's going to be 10x more awkward._

_I didn't think that was possible._

_ (a/n: edited/fixed 6/7/11)_


	4. Concern

**Neko-chan: Because of an idea given to me by one of my reviewers (kasseybaby123), I've decided that every 3-4 chapters or so, I'll post a journal entry from Len's life. **

**With that said, R&R!**

* * *

><p><em><span>This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine<span>_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 55/11_

_Subject: Concern_

_Happy May 5__th__, though I don't really celebrate the holiday. _

_Now, what I really came here for. Lately, Rin's been acting really strange…A few days ago, I found out she was giving her friends Date Rape…When Kaito told me about how she gave some to Miku, I was appalled. I mean, I know that there will always be a few things that she'll hold from me, but I didn't realize that my twin sister was able to so easily hold back enough of a… 'need' that is apparently strong enough to lead her to use drugs to get what she wants… The day went by in confusion and a sort of self-hatred for not being able to be there for her._

_But after thinking about it for a while, I realized how difficult it may be for her to come out and tell me those things…So after school, I decided to come out and tell her about it._

_She denied it at first, but when I told her that I'd be willing to help her with it, she flushed and nodded. _

_That night, I thought about many things._

_Wtf was I thinking. _

_How the hell am I supposed to bring that topic up?_

…_The fact that she agreed to it… does this mean she likes me a little more than a sibling as well?_

_About the last one… despite the large number of jokes that goes on about us, I couldn't really decide if she actually had those kind of feelings for me…_

_But WHATEVER. I ended up going in and asking her, and she said no, thankfully… well, I guess half thankfully, but again,_

_WHATEVER._

_Now… last night? That was…I'm not sure how to feel about tha-_

_NO WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING_

…_ehehm._

_Now, no, like I said, we didn't do anything. _

_However, when I asked her if she needed anything last night, she was sitting in front of her computer with a flushed face, large eyes, and a guilty look on her face…_

…

_I don't know what to think about that…_

…_I think I'll check her computer history later. For now, I'm going to make sure she's 'okay', and then go to sleep for tonight._

_Well, AFTER watching the Rin X Len – The Reason epic slideshow on Youtube created by Neko because I'm amazing like that. _

**Neko-chan: xD I had to. Be prepared for another Rin Diary entry soon, and Len's experiences with looking at Rinny's computer history later. And please check out my new video =P Len's doing it, you should to! Ja ne~!**


	5. Stuff on my Mind

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 59/11_

_Subject: Stuff on my mind_

_Today consisted of tests, tests, and more tests. Yaaay! We ALL know how I love tests, right?_

_If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm, then you really need to check your image of my personality… or better yet, pretty much any non-crazy perfectionist/nerd/whatever's personality, because I highly doubt you're gunna find many people in life who actually like those stupid things. _

_Anyway, luckily for me (in a way), I've had a need for distractions in my life, so I've gotten a lot of studying done recently, and finished them all with ease with plenty of time to spare…_

… _and plenty of time to think about my life._

_Ya know? I really didn't understand how WEIRD my life was until I spent all that time to think about it? Hell, I live in a huge mansion with no parents at age 14 with my twin brother, some cool friends, and producers. I already have a fairly nice career as a singer, tons of fans, and have videos and stories made of me all the time…_

…_and then that thought led to the thing most of those videos and stories contain. Heh. MeXLen pairingness… fun fun…_

_Dude, I feel so retarded right now… I usually don't write these things in class, but I've got a little less than an hour to kill… But now I'm sitting here with a faint blush and my pen scratching at a paper easily distinguishable as something that is NOT the test, so GOD knows what people think I'm writing… I've learned from experience that people can come up to some pretty wild conclusions if you're not too careful.._

_Anyway, BACK TO THE POINT…_

_Despite the fact that I feel like a pathetic, stereotypical teenage girl doing this, I decided to get some stuff off my chest by writing about my love life. _

…_GOD I feel so retarding doing this…_

_But lately, I've been noticing just how often nearly every single being in the universe that knows about me and Len pairs us together… _

_I mean, HELL, I remember one time when Miku was showing me one of the videos of her and her friends, and when she showed them a picture of me and Len, BEFORE THEY HAD ANY IDEA WHO WE WERE, they freakin responded with "Ooh, they look like they'd be such a cute couple!"_

_Miku laughed her ass off. Hahahaha-NO. NOT COOL._

_Jesus…I wonder if Len notices all this crap… _

…_what would he think of it? Would he agree to it? Laugh it off and ignore it? Hate it? I wonder if he watches the videos as much as I d-SON OF A BITCH I'M BECOMING PARANOID OVER WHAT HE THINKS…_

…_shit man… I need a pshychaiatrist.. fuck spelling…_

_Uggh…God…I've been thinking about Len WAAAAAAAAAYYYY too much to be healthy lately…_

…_Ya know that lil voice in the back of your head that adds little comments that are ANNOYINGLY blunt? That go WAY to far to point things out?_

_Yeah. "Well, it's only normal to think about someone you like this much!" –annoying voice._

… _We're naming it something annoying. Hm… Random letters… L…_

… _shit. I just started with the letter L… eugh.. that's a bad sign… a bad sign-DIFFERENT LETER WERE NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS ANYMORE_

_Q._

_.. well that's a shitty letter to start with.. oh well. Q…u…IN!_

_The voice in the back of my head is now named Quin. I don't care if naming it makes me a sch..schytsico? Yet again. Fuck spelling. Anyway, I don't care if naming it makes me… that. I don't care. It's new name is Quin, and I hate it. Quin shall forever be my perfect enemy!_

t.A.T.u. reference lolz

_Anyway, I'm starting to get weird looks from everyone… I think I'ma just take a nap until class is over. _

**(Note: Tried to post this yesterday, but was having uploading issues. Gomenasai!)**


	6. Jesus and Finals

**Neko-chan: Gomenasai for taking so long to update. .; I've got finals and crap now, and I've been busy studying with friends and finishing end-of-the-year projects. I may not get much of a chance to update for another week, but after that, I'm be free of school for 2 months! =D Yay!**

**Anyway, enjoy the new diary entry from Rin's POV, and expect a new one from Len's sometime in the near future!**

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

_Date: 5/21/11_

_Subject: Jesus and Finals_

_ Well, contrary to .001% of the world's population's beliefs, Jesus didn't come back to Earth today to give his judgment. Yay non-last-day-of-the-world! _

_ Well, that's done with. Anyway, I've got bigger things to worry about. It's close to the end of the year, and all next week I've got finals that are going to be 25% of my grade in each class…_

_ GOD I HATE SCHOOL!  
><em>

_ …ehem. Excuse my outburst. _

_ But seriously, why the hell do we need this stupid thing! I already spent enough time cramming in the 5 minutes before every other test I've gotten this year! Now I ACTUALLY have to study! Ugh… this is ridiculous…_

_ I've been having Len help me study lately. Thank god at least ONE OF US has the brains to do this crap. Without him, I'd be stuck without a job because I couldn't graduate due to my lack of knowledge/concern over solving triangles. _

_ …And without him, I'd probably be stuck with Ramen for dinner every night since he couldn't teach me how to cook… or make me food…_

_ …and I'd die of boredom at like…2 years old… or younger…_

_ …and birthday's would SUCK ASS…_

_ …dude, without him, I'd have NO ONE to help me pull pranks/get away with crap… Oh my god…that'd be HORRIBLE…_

_ Holy shit, without Len, I'd be SCREWED…_

_ …_

_ …I refuse to repeat Quin's UNEEDED, EMBARASSING REMARK. If you have a slightly perverted mind, you should catch on to what she said. -.-_

_ ANYWAY! (god I get off track a lot…) He's been helping me study, right? Well, last night we were going over some subjects, and it started out normal: Me staring at the paper blankly while his pencil quickly wrote down a shit ton of numbers, lines, words, etc, and eventually came to an answer. Then he'd ask if I understood it now, I'd look at him like he just spoke a foreign language only spoke by elephant-deer aliens on Mars, and then he'd sigh and take half an hour to walk me through one problem. _

_ Then we started going over English. The subject USED to be my favorite. However, the teacher decided to make us watch/read the play of Romeo and Juliet this year, and she's going to make our final over it, but I don't speak gibberish. I speak English. So Len helped translate for me. Somewhere during this, we got into an argument over how far one would go for someone they loved._

_ Basically, (once Len explained to me what the eff they were saying/talking about in the damned story), Len made a comment on how retarded Romeo was for killing himself and how it was all his fault for the story turning out badly. I told him that I thought it was because he only wanted to be with Juliet in heaven. Then Len commented that no one who commits suicide goes to heaven, and I angrily told them that they live happily ever after in Hell together and play poker with Satan._

_ After that, he kinda gave me a strange look and left, and I felt slightly dejected and felt a need to apologize and ask him to come back… but I decided against it. _

_ Now I'm slightly anxious/scared over whether or not I actually somehow upset him over the argument, and I dunno if I should talk to him or not… _

_ …I really don't want to, cuz then it'll be awkward and stuff…_

_ …but I dun want him to be mad at me…_

_ …TTwTT Quin just started freakin yelling at me for being retarded…_

_ Meugh… (Meugh? Oh well.) I'll just casually apologize for the stupid argument tonight when he tries to teach me about history._


	7. I don't even know anymore

**Neko-chan: OKAY! So. I'm SOO sorry for taking this long to update… x.x I uploaded another fanfiction called 'Truth, Dare, or Drink!' which should turn out pretty amusing in future chapters, I'm STILL working on trying to make the one oneshot for my Oneshot collection fic from Len's POV, aaaand am working on a new RinXLen slideshow that is taking FOREVER…**

…**and I totally forgot all about my Installation Complete fanfic.. *sweatdrop***

**Anyway, I hope to get a lot accomplished today, hopefully I'll have a video up on my Youtube channel sometime in the next few days, and by tonight I SHOULD have another chapter posted for one of my fanfics. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><span>This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine<span>_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 522/11_

_Subject: I don't even know anymore…_

_…So…How to start this…? Um… well… A couple days ago, Rin and I got in a stupid argument over Romeo and Juliet. Yesterday she didn't talk to me at all until about 6:00pm or so when I asked if she still wanted help with history. She nodded, and we had both walked into our room, sat down, and then bowed and apologized at the same time (go figure)… so that was settled, and we started going over random crap on WWII_

_I tried my best to explain everything in a way she would understand, but she insisted on arguing with me about how stupid every country's actions were… _

_"And you see, at that time, Japan wanted America's oil to help build up the machinery in their army, but America didn't want to help Japan's army grow, so they declined. So Japan decided to pretend to peacefully argue with-"_

_"How do you peacefully argue with someone?" she complained._

_"…You just do, okay? So-"_

_"No, because-"_

_"OKAY…they were DEBATING THE SITUATION in a NONVIOLENT MANNER…Fair?" I twitched_

_"Fine…" _

_"So then while they were pea-…while THAT was going on, behind America's back, Japan was secretly preparing to bomb a small harbor in Hawaii called 'Pearl Harbor'."_

_"Why would they do that?"_

_"Because they thought that it would invoke fear in America and convince them to-"_

_"They thought bombing a tiny island would frighten a huge-ass country?" she'd scoffed, "DAMN, Japan's stupid…"_

_"…Rin?"_

_"What?"_

_"…We LIVE in Japan."_

_"So?"_

_"All our FANS who PAY TO SEE US live in Japan."_

_"…So?"_

_"Don't you think it's a LITTLE mean to insult the country-you-get-so-much-from's intelligence?"_

_"…but they tried to scare people by bombing a tiny island!" _

_At that point I facepalmed, and struggled my way through the rest of the lesson. Honestly, I have no idea whether or not she actually learned anything from it at all, or if it was just a 'story-time' session where all the characters were retarded landmasses… but either way, the subject of history brought up an old topic in my mind… _

_While Rin was in the shower, I decided to go ahead and get on her computer. I opened up Internet Explorer and clicked on history, then specified the day that I saw her on the computer. _

_There were only a few sites she was on, and they were stumbleupon, fanfiction, and youtube. _

_First I went through the videos she watched. Nothing in particular showed up, mainly just random cat-videos and a few episodes of 'Dragon Crisis'. _

_Then I went to stumbleupon. A bunch of random things came up, but nothing particularly odd. _

_…That was when I looked at the fanfiction searches. I saw a few Twilight fanfictions, all of which looked boring as hell, and I wondered what in the world possessed my twin to read it. There were some for Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, but they consisted of were poorly written gore scenes. One fanfiction was for Inuyasha, but each chapter was only a couple sentences long. _

_…and then there was the Vocaloid section. There was only one fanfiction selected for it. For Genre, it had humor and Romance listed, and for characters it had me and Rin. _

_…I didn't know what to think…Rin was reading romance fanfictions about me and her..! _

_Least to say, I was appalled, and curious… and I read on…_

_…I…_

_…When…?/_

_…I don't know what to say… the fanfiction she had read… was DEFINITELY not meant for younger children… _

_…and it was a fanfiction about US… I…_

_…I have to go… I… I need a nap…or something… or drugs maybe…both sound good… I don't know…_

_…Fml… _

* * *

><p><strong>Neko-chan: Quick note, I don't know if all the information I posted on the WWII part was correct... but if not, oh well...xD We'll just say Len got his info mixed up, ne?<strong>

**Also, keep an eye on my youtube channel, NekochanXDemyx, for a new RinXLen vid called 'Rin X Len - Happily Ever After' in the new future! =D**


	8. History is ruining my life…

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 523/11_

_Subject: History is ruining my life…_

_Well, today I took my history final. YAY!_

_Not._

_I paid attention for Len's lessons…I really did… buuuut apparently, the teacher didn't find all of my answers satisfactory…_

_I got a low B-. Honestly, I did better than I normally would've. But still… when I looked over his comments on the things I got wrong, I was ticked._

_One of the questions was an essay question, and it asked me to write 1-2 paragraphs describing the events up to the bombing of pearl harbor. And I put almost exactly what Len told me! But NO. Apparently, my answer didn't seem to 'take the test seriously enough.' Bullshit. If I describe Japan as a retarded midget trying to scare a sumo wrestler away by squishing their baby toe, who cares? It's practically the same concept. _

_Ugh.. I tried to vent to Len about it, but he told me it wasn't right either… I also noticed that he flinched at the word history each time I said it. _

…_I confronted him about it. Ya know, same way anyone would. _

…_Okay, maybe not. If I recall correctly, I may have called him an 'epileptic cockroach with history allergies'… but that should definitely become a new, less blunt way to say someone's jumpy about a certain word… right? _

_I mean… epileptic.. that's… that's jumpy right? And cockroaches are… um.. sneaky ish? And kinda jum-FORGET IT._

_So after he got done criticizing my MAD LANGUAGE SKILLZ, he made me follow him up to our room. _

…_And he proceeded to give me a lesson on 'computer history', and how it can be used…_

…_Um… he used an example. _

… _I… he started interrogating me about 'how I was holding up' and 'how long this has been going on'… and at one point started to give me 'the talk'…_

…

_Do you have ANY IDEA how awkward it is… to get THE TALK… from your twin brother… after they have read a fanfiction about you and him screwing… and with them thinking that YOU purposely read that… and… and… ugh…_

_I kept trying to deny it… but after all the crap that's gone down… he thinks I'm just 'in denial' and 'too embarrassed to tell the truth'… _

_And 'it's okay, we're 14 now. It's natural to have hormonal issues such as this'._

…_Oh, wanna know what makes this all TEN FREAKIN TIMES BETTER?_

_Tomorrow, we're filming a redo of Adolescence. We're supposedly going to make a 'velvet version' like we did with some of Story of Evil PV, and we're making a new PV to go with it._

…_if you didn't notice the sarcasm about it being 'TEN FREAKIN TIMES BETTER', theres something wrong with you._

…_FUCKING QUIN IS GOING TO DIE. _

"_No…they just know that you're love for your twin was bound to get this extreme sooner or later"_

… _ugh.. I.. I'm a schitso… FUCK SPELLING, I REFUSE TO EVEN TRY TO LOOK UP THAT WORD… _

…_Quin: Wow, failure much?_

_Yes I am, Quin. Yes I am._

* * *

><p><strong>Neko-chan: Hoping to update my fanfics a bit more often now that I'm done with the video (Rin X Len - Happily Ever After on Youtube!). Hope you liked this chapter! Will try to catch up to our current date in the journals, though I may skip a few days. <strong>

**Check out my profile for update rates/extra lil tid bits on my ongoing fanfictions!**

**Ja ne!**


	9. I'm NOT a liar

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 525/11_

_Subject: I'm NOT a liar_

_Yesterday…_

_Wow._

_Apparently, the old producer has been replaced with a rabid fangirl named Hiratsu…_

"_KYAA! YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE!" she'd squeal after every short part we filmed, making my eye twitch every freaking time. I swear, if there weren't too many witnesses around, I would've committed a murder that day._

_Not only that, but she insisted on making the PV, THAT MAY I ADD WAS ALREADY PRETTY DIFFICULT TO FILM ALREADY, somehow _even more _embarrassing._

_I was fighting all nerves in my body as my natural acting abilities forced me to face my twin with a truly saddened expression, arm slightly outstretched towards him as I sang. _

_Len's acting skills were as good as mine. Knowing him for so long, I could see the bit of nervousness just barely visible in his eyes. However, his outward expression was completely controlled, and the concerned, loving expression he gave me was extremely realistic. _

_He walked closer to me and grabbed my hand, lifting it to his lips gently. Least to say, I didn't have to act out my embarrassed-ness much. Rather, I had to hold most of it back or else it would ruin the mood of the PV._

_So, he just kissed my hand in a-SHUTTHEFUCKUPQUIN…in a NOT cute, NOT adorable, NOT completely amazing way…And I did NOT want to glomp him AT ALL._

…_and I'm NOT a liar. _

_AS I WAS SAYING. He kissed my hand in a…he just kissed my hand, okay? And then the short part was done, and they called out to let us know we could drop our act. Being me, I pulled my hand away from him like he was burning hot-NOT LIKE THAT… EHEM… and… um… I may have… sorta… kiiiiiinda scratched his face a bit…or a lot… I may have had on really cool (yet also pretty sharp) fake nails…_

…_and he juuuust might have bled a tinnnnny, itsy bitsy little bit. _

… _or a lot._

"_CUUUUT!" Hiratsu screamed at the top of her lungs, "DID ANYONE FILM THAT?"_

_One of the camera dudes slowly raised his hand._

_"OH MY GOD WERE KEEPING IT. YOU GUYS ARE ADORABLE, YOU JUST GAVE ME THE CUTEST IDEA EVER!"_

…_Who would've thought _wounding_ your twin brother would be considered 'adorable', much less give someone 'the cutest idea ever'…_

"_Okay! We need to resume filming as soon as possible! I don't want that wound to heal up before we get this next shot, got it?"  
><em>

"_H-hai…" Len said, looking rather confused. I would've too, considering the circumstances._

_So this crazy ass chick goes on to tell me to act like I was incredibly embarrassed (though _that _was a pretty freakin easy task for me,) and then look back at Len with a guilty and apologetic expression, wipe his blood away with my thumb (ew..) and then, SHE MADE ME KISS IT._

…_I… Eugh.. I hated every single second of it…every single second…_

…_NO, I'M NOT LYING!_

_Geugh… Whatever… I… I don't care anymore… I'm going to take a nap… Oyasumi_


	10. Update on life

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

_Date: 9/20/11_

_Subject: Update on life_

_UGH… I lost my diary… for almost FOUR WHOLE MONTHS… It was horrible… My brain felt like it was going to explode…_

_I started talking to myself… and I think Quin started becoming louder and more eager to comment because of it… _

_Anyway, let's update on all the crap that I've missed…_

_Um… hm… What was happening last time I updated?_

_Eugh… Right…We released the new Adolescence PV, right? And it was a HUGE hit. Along with a few other fairly big accomplishments by other Vocaloids, the group budget and popularity had nearly doubled._

_As a reward, we had a party. Crazy producer chick was there, and she was completely drunk. First she ended up glomping me and telling me how adorable she thinks me and Len are together (which, MAY I ADD, was INCREDIBLY embarrassing considering… well… LIFE. And then she asked me if I liked him that way, and when I sputtered random nonsense like an idiot BECAUSE OF SHOCK AND EMBARASSMENT FROM THE AWKWARD QUESTION, NOT BECAUSE I LO-..SHHH…._

_But my response (or lack thereof) somehow managed to register in her intoxicated little mind as a YES. _

_And how did she respond?_

_SHE DRAGGED ME TOWARD HIM, GRABBED HIM, THREW US IN A CLOSET TOGETHER, AND CACKLED LIKE A CRUEL, DEMONIC IDIOT WHILE SHE REFUSED TO LET US OUT UNTIL 'I said something special to him'!_

_To top if off, at the time, Len was_ still _misunderstanding stuff from the pocky misunderstanding and what it escalated to, so when he heard that, he asked me if 'this was about my hormonal issues'…_

_I… ugh… simply recalling the memory makes me want to die with embarrassment…_

_FU-…uuuuuudgING QUIN… _

"_You know, you sound really pessimistic when you write. You should be more honest and talk about how you actually love him and want to cuddle him-" AND BLAH BLAH BLAH NO._

_JUST NO._

_Eugh… I ended up whispering to him and telling him to act like we were in one of our PVs so that the lunatic would let us out. Being him, HIS first reaction to that was to pretend to start dying. And though I don't really blame him considering everyone seems determined to kill him in the PVs, he should've realized that dying was NOT what I meant._

_To him, dying consisted of odd gurgles and 'dying noises', and then collapsing to the floor…_

_And apparently, the drunken fangirl outside the closet's interpretation of that was NOT. GOOD._

_How do I know this you ask?_

_Well, when she throws a condom under the door (I don't even want to know why she had one here in the first place,) and squeals 'OMG!' like a child on crack receiving a million dollars… I feel that the actual occurrences that had taken place within the closet may have been slightly distorted from her point of view._

_Len ended up ending his dead charade and opening his eyes to see the glowing (yes, GLOWING) wrapper a few inches from his face, and then proceeded to catapult himself backwards, hit his head on the back wall, and knocked himself out._

_Now, let's analyze my situation._

_By the lack of giggling, the fangirl had run off to fantasize about God knows what, without thinking to let us out. There's a glowing condom on the floor. And I'm trapped inside a small space with an unconscious twin._

…_It took over two hours for someone to finally realize we were gone and let us out. And I was stuck listening to Quin the ENTIRE. TIME. _

_And then, once we were out, I had to listen and deny every single one of the other Vocaloid's accusations/suspicions. _

_It SUCKED._

_Anyways, I'm tired. I'll try to update on my life more often now that I have located my diary once more. After all, when I grow old, I'll need SOMETHING to laugh at. What better than my young, overly complicated life?_


	11. Thieving fangirls

_This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 721/11_

_Subject: Thieving fangirls_

_Well, this had been an interesting couple of days… Yesterday, I had been walking home a few blocks from the recording studio just down the street after discussing with our insane producer Hiratsu (I don't even WANT to go into details about how annoying it is trying to talk to that lady about ANYTHING even slightly serious when she keeps interrupting to comment on 'how good Rin and I look together,' and 'how adorable we are.'_

_One, we're twins. Aren't we kind of SUPPOSED to look good with each other? I mean, we match in facial structure and hair color, and we're fairly symmetrical after all… Two, being called 'adorable' when you're a guy ISN'T VERY FLATTERING.)_

…_ugh…_

…_wait, where was I? God, I haven't gotten the chance to write in this thing for so long, I'm all jumbled up._

…_Oh yeah! Right. I was walking home, when I saw this young girl, maybe a year older than I am, sitting outside our house just beyond the property's border, tucked into a small group of close bushes._

_Now, if I wasn't her twin, at first glance, this girl could've easily been mistaken for Rin. She had an incredibly similar – no, considering the one small tear in the top corner I CLEARLY remember forming when Rin was performing one of our PV's, I'm sure that _was _one of Rin's bows. Her hair was short and blonde in a very similar style, though not quite the same as Rin's, and her clothes consisted of a combination of one of Rin's tops, and my shorts._

_Being curious, as well as irritated as to how she managed to obtain our clothing items, I took a cautious step toward the girl. A small branch hanging off the bush that was previously in my line of sight was an issue no longer, and at that point I could clearly see a pair of expensive-looking binoculars held up to her face._

_The girl heaved a sigh, then pulled an arm up to glance at her watch. "Len-sama's supposed to be coming home soon, I should probably go before he catches me spying."_

…_I had caught a fangirl clothes thief, talking to herself and spying on my home._

_How wonderful._

"_EXCUSE ME," I stated loudly, feeling incredibly frustrated that one's fangirling obsession could go so far. Her reaction was instantaneous. She literally JUMPED at the sound of my voice. Her eyes snapped to me as she breathed rapidly like a dying asthmatic. _

"_L…L-…L-l…"_

_Now, before I continue, might I just state that mild hyperventilation on top of stuttering of the sound of the letter 'L' is a GREAT way to succeed if you are hoping to pass off as a person with sever mental incapabilities._

"_Len-sama…" her eyes filled with an extreme, and honestly rather creepy amount of awe and admiration as she said my name, and that's excluding the rather awkward and unneeded honorific._

_My mouth opened to ask what the hell she was doing here, as well as demand for me and my sister's clothing, but I never got the chance to say a word._

_All admiration died and her facial expression became that of pure horror as she sputtered an almost inaudible, "Oh SHIT!" With an incredible amount of speed, she dropped the binoculars and took off down the street, fading out of view while I attempted (and failed) to comprehend it all fast enough to have some form of reaction._

_A few seconds had passed before I actually moved from my confused/shocked, frozen state on the side of the road. I walked over to the spot where she had dropped her binoculars, and ended up finding a medium sized backpack tucked under one of the bushes. Looking inside, I found all kinds of stuff I had deemed missing a while back, including this very journal. There were a few of Rin's items as well, one of which being some orange, frilly book with her name printed on the front._

"_..Why the hell did she steal Rin's _Romance Novels?" _I shouted to no one in particular. I then sighed and walked the rest of the way into my home, carrying the book bag and wondering what the hell is wrong with fangirls. Once I was inside, I ate one of my bananas, put away all of the items I had found in the bag, and then went to bed out of pure mental exhaustion._

_And so, here I am today. Been up for 15 minutes, half of which were spent waking up and reviewing my odd dream (which consisted of some odd child pointing and laughing at me while I drank an orange/banana smoothie for reasons I fail to comprehend), and the other half writing this lovely thing. _

_Well, I do believe this is plenty for an update after such a long time from writing, I'm going to go ahead and run downstairs to eat breakfast before my amusing, yet pig-of-a-sister (she's lucky I love her) eats all the food. _


	12. Ugh

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 109/11_

_Subject: Ugh…_

_Guys…_

_I feel like SHIT… I went to school today and could barely focus on my schoolwork because my stomach hurt so bad…_

_Ugh… I haven't been able to eat anything all day… It's freaking torture. I mean, the stomach rolling around more violently than the Roadroller when I'm PMSing is enough as it is, but not being able to consume my amazing oranges is just… _

…_Eugh.. It sucks… I've got a mild headache, too… I went to school today because we had a huge project in World History I desperately needed to finish, but now that it's done and over with, I don't know if I'm going to go tomorrow… _

_If it gets any worse, I probably won't be able to get out of bed tomorrow even if I wanted to. Though it wasn't bad enough to fully be considered a fever, my temperature was a bit higher than normal, and it gave me that weakish-shaky feeling. _

_Len tried to convince me to stay home (which was odd, with him being the one who harps on me all the time about how I should be more willing to go to school and whatnot,) but I refused. I'd been working on that damned project in that class for almost two whole weeks, and today was our last day to complete it. I couldn't let this little 'allergy problem' keep me from finishing it. _

_After Len spent the next five or so minutes explaining to me how most of my symptoms are NOT common for allergies, we eventually made a deal that I'd go to school as long as I'd give him an update on how I felt in between classes each passing period._

_I felt happy with the compromise. Well, that is until 2__nd__ period. My stomach really started to kick up then. The last 4 periods were spent in an uncomfortable daze except during passing periods when I attempted to regain most of my composure so I could face my twin. Each time, he kept asking if I was _really _okay, and if I was lying to him or faking it. I almost fell victim to my guilt once, but I pushed through it._

_Anyway, we came home today, and Len started playing 'nurse' for me… wait, is there a more masculine word for a male nurs-wai-NO, WE AREN'T DOING _THAT,_ SON OF A BITCH, QUIN!_

_Eugh.. Being angry is tiring… wait.. what was I talking about? Right. Len has trying to nurse me back to good health ever since we got home. I feel guilty about making him worry about me, but at the same time, it makes me happy… He's really trying hard to make me get well again…_

…_What? Urg.., it's difficult to focus on things with a fever… Quin made a stupid comment about how 'I'm falling in love with Len all over again'… and I'm not smart enough… er.. I'm not… focused…and stuff… enough to tell her why she's wrong…Maybe she's not wrong? Wait, it's Quin… she's ALWAYS wrong… I think… but Len's not… he's always right… and nice… and caring…and I think I may love him too much… is that possible? Can you love someone too much? People always say you can't, but what if you're related to the person you love? I dunno… I think I'm rambling… Uggh, my mind feels like mush, and my stomach STILL feels like crap.. I think there's a bunch of itty bitty teeny tiny midgets throwing a rave in there…with heavy bass… and a mosh pit… yeah.. that's a good description.. _

_Hm..? Len's coming back into the room again. Lol… even when I'm dazed, he's still the most amazing and handsome guy I know… Eugh… hm.. I wonder if everyone feels a little giggly when they have a fever…? I dunno… _

_Len's making me put my diary away, so I guess I'll put this away for now…_


	13. I'm confused

_This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1010/11_

_Subject: I'm confused…_

_Rin didn't look good today… She woke up drenched in sweat, taking shallow, rapid breaths. I quickly woke her up and fetched a thermometer, and I discovered that her temperature had risen 3 ½ degrees over the night. _

_It was really kind of scary… I've done a lot of PVs with Rin, and I'm used to seeing her looking this pitiful when she's acting and when using fake props and whatnot… but this wasn't an act… and the fact that, in almost every one of those PVs, Rin DIES…_

_It really didn't help me when it comes to worrying. _

_I stayed home from school today with her, getting her anything she wanted and making sure she was drinking plenty of water. It was kind of scary how little she complained when I asked her to do something… _

"_Rin, you're gunna have to drink the rest of the water. You need to hydrate your body so that it'll recover faster."_

"'_kay."_

_Usually, even at such a small suggestion, I would've gotten a whole bunch of complaints and whatnot… _

_It's really worrying to see my sister this way… I don't like it. I want her to get better as soon as possible…_

_There's another thing that-, well, I guess it's not as worrying as it is confusing…Rin.. she's.. the fever makes her act kind of weird. She'll randomly say odd things, or do something random out of the blue (and not in the usual Rin way.)_

_I find her most reoccurring statement is a simple, "I love you." I always assure her that I love her too, but almost every time, she gets this upset look on her face… I don't understand.. was I not supposed to say that?_

_Rin's also hugged me a lot since the fever has taken a hold of her. When I feel her quivering against me, I feel an overwhelming desire to hold her close and comfort her: let her know everything will be alright._

_That's normal.. right? Why is it that the saddened look in her eyes after I tell her 'I love her' seems to prove me wrong?  
><em>

_I dunno… It's weird… I can't tell who's confusing me more right now, Rin or myself. Maybe we're equal in ability to confuse me? We _are _twins after all._

_Rin's calling for me again, I have to go. I can think about everything some other time._

* * *

><p>(AN: Sorry for lack of humor in this chapter! I wanted to move the plot a little more this time around, I promise to have more amusing-ness in the next update ^-^;;)


	14. Feeling better

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1012/11_

_Subject: Feeling better_

_I've started feeling better today. Yesterday and the day before was NOT pretty… My flu-ish extreme cold thing got increasingly worse. It's actually kinda scary… I only have vague clips of memories of the last two days. I can't remember any details at all.. _

_I wasn't even AWARE that it was possible to get sick enough to lose memories… _

_When I woke up this morning, Len was immediately at my side, asking me 50 bajillion and a half questions in a row, not allowing me any space to answer a single one._

"_DUDE. I'm fine…ish… just chill. I've got this."_

_Follow with what is possibly the most elated look I've seen on his face since he got 100 bananas our tenth birthday. It was shocking.. and kind of embarrassing that he was THAT happy that I was better…_

"_RIN!" he shouted, hugging me tight enough to reach a point of minor suffocation. I simply reached a hand behind his back, patting him awkwardly for a lack of a better reaction._

_When he finally let me go, I decided to inquire about the missing parts of my memory._

"_What happened? I can barely remember anything.."_

"_I'm not surprised," he replied, "what little amount of time you spent awake was spent in a pretty… odd state. You looked…" His eyebrows furrowed as he searched for a proper description._

"_You looked… kind of like a Meiko when she's completely smashed… combined with a regular sick person… and a tiny bit of regular you… I guess…" _

_I contemplated the description, trying to form an image of it within my mind. It was odd…_

"_Not only that…" Len continued, a peculiar look on his face, "but… you kept saying odd things… and were acting really strangely in general…" His eyes stared off into the distance while I attempted to recall any of the things he described. However, only fuzzy memories of a pounding headache and gross, sickly feeling were found._

"_Hm.." I replied lamely, finding no proper response. Instead, I recalled how quickly he greeted me this morning upon waking up. A curious thought wandered my mind, and when I examined the room, I discovered a multitude of discarded empty energy drinks (which Len usually NEVER drinks) littering the small corner of the room he had been sitting in, adding to my suspicion._

"_Len…did you… did you stay up all night…?" I asked, appalled, finally noting the bags under his eyes. _

_He looked away guiltily, a tiny bit of red showing up in his cheeks. "I didn't want you to wake up any time during the middle of the night and need something without someone to get it for you…"_

"_I…" My jaw was hanging open, completely at a loss for words. "Th…thank you…"_

"_Y..yeah.." He replied. _

…_I… my heart was beating so fast… and even though I had thought that the sickness was done and over with minus a slight headache, my stomach felt like I had just reached a large drop on one of the roller coasters at the theme park… It… _

…_ugh.. I hate it Quin… especially when I can't find any proof to prove her wrong…_

_Quin: It's LOOOOOOVEEE…_

_I…FORGET THIS. I'll… I'll just.. think about that later… _

_Quin: I'm sure you'll be thinking about it plenty._

_..EHEM. ANYWAY. _

_The atmosphere at that time was heavy…I felt like something intense was about to happen at any second…like a zombie apocalypse or something…_

…_and then the rest of the Vocaloid crew barged in, and the moment was gone…And despite the fact it was incredibly uncomfortable, I was slightly disappointed._

_Anyways, I accepted their gifts (most of which were oranges, so I couldn't complain TOO much I guess… kind of…) with gratitude and thanked them all for caring so much. They left after a few moments, but when I glanced at Len afterwards, our eyes met, and the look in his eyes told me that the moment was over._

"_So how are you feeling today?" he asked, grabbing the thermometer setting on the nightstand next to our bed and handing it to me. _

"_I feel fine except for a minor headache," I had replied. He proceeded to give me a mini interrogation, and then when I assured him I was more than well enough to be on my own, he finally crawled into a small, makeshift bed on the floor next to me and fell asleep within minutes. _

_I ended up sitting there, watching him sleep like a freaking creeper for God knows how long before I realized how odd I must look. _

_I'm now currently eating a shitload of oranges (which I was beginning to feel a minor withdrawal due to eating NONE in two whole freaking days..), and ignoring Quin's pressuring to get me to continue watching my twin sleep. _

…_But since I don't want to get oranges on my diary, I suppose I'll end it here for now…_

…

_AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT PLANNING ON WATCHING LEN SLEEP…AT ALL…_

…_And despite what Quin says, I'M NOT A LIAR!_


	15. Thinking

_This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1014/11_

_Subject: Thinking_

_I'm really glad that Rin's feeling better; she even claimed she felt well enough that she could've gone to school today if it weren't the weekend… but without having to take care of her so often, I have more free time to wander in my thoughts.._

_I'm…slightly confused. I find myself questioning whether or not I treat Rin like any other twin brother… I don't exactly have too many brother-sister twins to compare to, but I know a few other pairs of siblings…_

_All of them are constantly arguing and getting on each others nerves. They complain about how 'their siblings are sooo annoying' and such…_

_But Rin and I… ever since I can remember, other than a small amount of fairly rare occurrences, the only 'fighting' we do is teasing horseplay. I find myself happiest in her company because I am comforted by the fact that I can count on her almost always understanding everything I go through; we ARE twins, after all... she's the first person I see when I wake up, and the one I can trust to keep every single one of my secrets… We've spent so much time together in our lives. Everything we've gone through in our 14 ½ years of existence, good or bad, we've gone through together. When she was sick, I couldn't help but have nervous thoughts of the possible worst case scenario. I kept wondering, "Oh my God, is it possible this isn't just the flu? Is it deadly?" Despite the other Vocaloid's comforting words denying that it was anything serious, I still couldn't help…_

_I… I didn't know what I'd do if I lost her…I couldn't see myself living a life without my twin sister…_

…_Is that normal?_

_I don't know…_

_It's not just that that's on my mind though… When I told her that I'd stayed up all night to make sure she was fine…the look on her face was… it was cute…Is…Is it normal to say that? _

…_when I noticed it…it was odd…I felt…happy? I don't know… I just wanted to be closer to her and hold her in my arms…I wanted to inform her how adorable she looked…I…_

_This isn't normal._

_This CAN'T be normal._

_But if it's not normal, what is it?_

_Wait…is it just me that's… 'not-normal', or is Rin like this, too?_

_I don't know… _

… _not knowing things sucks ass._

_And I mean SERIOUSLY sucks ass._

_Ugh._

_I give up for now…who needs to comprehend things right?... that's really quite a pathetic attempt to see good in this situation… however, I think I'm going to attempt to forget about things for a while… take a break… and go to sleep. I'll cuddle up next to my twin for warmth, dream my dreams, and enjoy waking up to see her as I always do._

_-brb-_

_Rin just walked in. That's my cue for bed. Oyasuminasai!_

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Oyasuminasai – Good night)**


	16. Distractions

**(A/N: THE URLs FOR PVs BEING DISCUSSED IN THIS DIARY ARE LISTED BELOW THE DIARY ENTRY. THANK YOU)**

* * *

><p><em><span>This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine<span>_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1017/11_

_Subject: Distractions_

_As of late, I've had a need for distractions for… reasons. AND I SHALL NOT NAME THEM. _

…_at least not at this moment._

_Ahem, anyway, after school today (which was EXCUTIATINGLY BORING AND FAILED TO SERVE ME PROPPERLY AS A DISTRACTION_

_(effin yeah! Look at that big word! Len'd be proud of m-…BACK TO OTHER TOPIC)_

…_where was I? RIGHT. So after school, I decided to go back and see how one of our latest completed projects we had been working on during the absence of my diary had turned out. It was a sort of new Project Diva game for the PS3, and considering we were aiming for 'no pixilated shit' (which was how our insane producer lady delicately put it), and as a result, we ended up having to act these out similar to how we would for a PV._

_Len was currently beating up hookers with Kaito on one of our Grand Theft Auto games, so I wasn't exactly able to play our game at the moment. Instead, I decided I'd just watch some of our videos on Youtube._

_I reached the sites homepage, and I felt myself blush as I recalled one particular memory of recording that still remained vivid within my mind. …Actually, there were quite a few-_

_OKAY! LET'S WATCH A NORMAL ONE AND _NOT _THINK ABOUT THOSE, KAY?_

_I clicked on one that I recalled being kind of fun to record and clicked on it. I watched myself dance in the very beginning, going through the movements in my mind ..and then when my twin showed up in the video, I felt my cheeks heat up unnecessarily._

_I shook my head furiously, attempting to shake away the tint in my cheeks (Cause it's SOOO possible, don't lie…). When that plan failed pathetically, I simply crossed my arms and pouted at the screen, somehow managing to blame the pink in my face on the computer._

_By the time the video was finished, I was (ish) dancing to it in my chair, humming along with..erm.. myself.._

_..and Len…_

_NEXT VIDEO. _

_(2) I clicked on the one with the song 'Master of Puppets.' _

_My first thought was something along the lines of, "WHY THE HELL ARE WE WEARING SWIMMING SUITS?"_

_And then I remembered. Oh yeah… Hiratsu producer chick was drunk that day… riiiiight…_

_Ugh…_

_Anyway, I watched the video, and as I did so, I found myself feeling guilty… And…reminiscent.. and-_

_AND THEN I DECIDED TO GO EAT DINNER BECAUSE FOOD IS GOOD._

_Eugh.. I'll.. I'll probably continue watching videos afterwards though… Am I pathetic?_

_Quin: Yes. Yes you are._

_Don't you just love my mind? It's so loving._

_Quin: I try._

…

_Since I apparently have a voice in my head that is being a sarcastic jerk, I'm going to continue on with my previous plan to nomnom food. Later_

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: *place youtube homepage url before following***

**/watch?v=Ca6xQvmSKOw&list=FLVKSvLA34V-kt1xyp_vlmjw&index=5**

**/watch?v=F7_wM1umYyo&list=FLVKSvLA34V-kt1xyp_vlmjw&index=4**


	17. blank

**(A/N: THE URLs FOR PVs BEING DISCUSSED IN THIS DIARY ARE LISTED BELOW THE DIARY ENTRY. THANK YOU)**

* * *

><p><em><span>This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine<span>_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1017 – 10/18 (Midnight)_

_Subject: (blank)_

…

_I can't think straight. How can I? I…_

…

_Yesterday…after dinner, I came upstairs and watched more PVs… I didn't think… I… I work in the musical field of career options, so it's only natural that I'd get caught up in it…_

_I started dancing with the PVs I played… and then singing along… I got caught up in it like I have to do when I am recording it… it lets it look more realistic…I didn't realize Len had walked in…Our voices blended in with the recording, and I was practically in a trance while I was singing…It didn't phase me at all when he joined me…_

_It was on a playlist by the time he'd joined, automatically going to the next song when the previous had finished… (1_) _Paradichlorobenzene x Antichlorobenzene had just ended, and (2) Jabberwocky Jabberwocka began playing instantly afterwards. _

_Listening to the music was intoxicating. It's odd, as well as difficult to describe how music can completely capture someone… The beat of the drums and bass pulsate loudly and send bursts of energy through your body, appearing to become your very heartbeat. The melody flows through you, willing you to do anything, just as long as you were up and moving. It fills you with such an intense urge to just _dance_… and the lyrics give it all the final touch of life, the final touch of meaning. It gives the music personality and a story, and wills you to join in the telling of it. _

…_Its hard to fully realize what your doing when the music controls you…_

_Len and I were dancing together and singing to the PV…my thoughts had almost completely vanished as I immersed myself in the PV with my twin. Even in the parts where no choreographed dancing had been made, our moves were still nearly perfectly symmetrical. The rhythm moved us as one through the song…_

…_and then at about halfway through the song, it reached a point in the PV where we had recorded… something. In it, our faces had moved close together, and the camera moved away to cause the illusion of 'contact', despite the fact (much to our producers dissatisfaction) nothing occurred.._

…

_But…as Len and I approached the same spot…I was to immersed in the song…And… and maybe so was he… because… our lips…there was definitely some form of contact this time through…_

…_but the music kept playing…and…the kiss continued…there wasn't any thought running through my mind… just an urge to continue moving… an urge to never let this happy, fulfilling feeling end…_

_The…the kiss… it deepened. Even the part of me that speculated that I may like my twin slightly more than most people would accept, and even the part where Quin originates from that teasingly makes stupid jokes, I never actually expected to… to _make out _with him…_

_Ugh… stating that… writing those words… it's like finally admitting that it all happened… its like accepting that that moment of… 'intense lip contact' truly occurred…_

…_when the song ended, so did the playlist. Our lips parted, and we gazed into each others eyes in a daze, still in a light embrace, as reality slowly seeped in. _

_As it did so, we slowly began to part further, eyes widening in shock, both of us at a loss for words… _

_I had no idea how to react… even now, a few hours after, I… I can still taste him… I'm so messed up…_

_We both stood there, backed up against opposite walls, staring at each other in horror of the truth of what just happened…After about 3 minutes of silent, mutual contemplation, Len was the first to move, leaving the room slowly and quietly as if trying to keep from waking someone nearby… I slowly let myself fall to the ground, leaning against the wall as I did so for support. My legs had felt like they could've given out at any moment…As I sit there, my hand slowly moved up to my mouth, fingertips gently grazing my lips where Len had been just moments before…_

_Eventually, I climbed into bed, and attempted to fall asleep… attempted to take a moment to forget it all happened, but that was impossible… sleep? After _that_? I must've been crazy. Though, considering the event I was trying to forget, I suppose that statement had already been proven…_

_I remained motionless in the bed for about an hour, silent, yet wide awake, when I heard the faint sound of the door being opened. My eyes instantaneously shut, and I feigned sleep as well as I could…_

…_he fell asleep approximately 34 minutes ago from this moment (that's when I began to hear his soft snores)… but I still find it impossible to allow myself to be captured by sleep. I can't stop thinking about it… so many questions running through my head… so many things telling me how wrong I am… so much self hatred at this moment…_

_... so why is it that after all of this… despite all the horrible insults directed toward myself flowing through my mind…_

…_why is it that I'm so happy?_

* * *

><p><strong>(AN:**

**(1) /watch?v=fZHxO6sWpUE&list=FLVKSvLA34V-kt1xyp_vlmjw&index=2**

**(2) /watch?v=-HYRoV_DEUk**


	18. Dotdotdot

_This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1019/11_

_Subject: …_

…_Last night…Rin and I…_

_We…we were dancing…and got caught up in things…and…_

…_and we may have kissed…_

…

_A lot…_

_I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. We haven't really talked much sense then… like, AT ALL… the most we've spoken to each other was a brief, 'sorry' when we bumped into each other in the hallway at school._

_Even the walk home was unusually silent._

_When we arrived, we split up, going our separate ways in the mansion._

…_It's been uncomforting… is she angry with me? I don't know what to say… because in all truth…_

_I really liked it._

_I know how twisted that makes me, and I know I'm probably going to burn for eternity in hell for it, but I can't deny it as the truth. In fact, I loved it. Every moment of it was bliss. Why? _

_Because I wasn't just 'making out with some chick.'_

_I was kissing the girl I loved._

_Is that so wrong?_

…_Ha. Probably. It is if she's your twin. But for some reason, that doesn't bother me right now… What bothers me is how _she _feels about it…_

_What did she think? Is she disgusted? Repulsed? Angry? Sad?_

_And maybe I'm being too hopeful by even considering this an option… but happy?_

_I want to know. And though I don't want Rin to feel pressured… I'd like to know soon…And it's not like this silent phase can go on forever, right?_

…_I won't let it._

_I can't. I NEED to know now._

_Is Rin angry with last nights occurrences, or will she join my side, my twin whom I share every experience with, to dance yet again with me in the fires of Hell?_

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Sorry for crappy/short chapter! . Won't be able to update for a few days, either…**

**Also, 'In the 'Heat' of the Moment' should hopefully be updated soon! It's just got to be beta-read, and then it'll be uploaded!)**


	19. Fear

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

_Fdsfkesafl;elkfaewfeaowfpeowfkpoeawf_

_Fuck it. I love Len._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1025_

_Subject: Fear_

_This past few days, Len and I have barely spoke. The rest of the Vocaloids have inquired as to 'what we're arguing about.'_

_Ha._

_Argument._

_If only._

_Nonono, it has to be MUUUCH more complicated. Something they'd never suspect. _

_Er… at least I _hope _its something they'd never suspect. If it IS, then we've got bigger things to worry about…I guess…Though, at this point in time, it's difficult to imagine ANYTHING being more worrying than…well.. the blunt fact that I fucking made out with my twin brother._

_Pardon my French. _

_But still, not only that, but this monthly Vocaloid meeting is coming to an end. _

_Yes, I'm writing a freakin diary in the middle of an important meeting. I'm stressed, okay? And if it's not obvious, I've got quite a bit I've got to sort out in my mind…_

_Including the text Len sent me around 10 minutes ago._

"_We need 2 tlk. Meet me aftr meetings ovr, behind building; need privte conv. Dnt want ppl to ovrhear."_

_Eugh… I can't look him in the eyes at all. We're all in a mildly large circle consisting of the Vocaloid crew, producers, film crew, etc, and there's only two people in between Len and I to my left…_

_Ugh.. I usually can't wait for these stupid meetings to be over, but now, I'm dreading the end…It's stressful.._

_What is Len going to say? What is he going to talk about?_

_Well, I suppose the latter is probably one of the most retarded, obvious questions in the world… but the first is still something to ponder.._

_I wonder…what is he going to say about it all? What was his overall reaction to the occurrence between us that took place just a few nights ago? Was he shocked? Angry? Disgusted? _

…_Did he enjoy it as much as I did?_

…_It looks like I'll find out soon… They're dismissing everyone now…_

_Oh, God, what if he tells me I'm a freak? What if he goes off on me? Oh my God… What happens if he _hates _me? Oh my God.. Oh my God…I…_

…_I CAN'T DO THIS. NOT YET._

…_Eugh… Now I'm in the freaking bathroom, leaning against the damned wall, sitting on the (luckily) semi-clean floor, wondering what the eff I should do._

_Let's look at my options.._

_1.) Go out there and meet Len. _

_Sounds…ishy. It'll be nice to finally get an answer to half of the questions that have been running through my mind… but what if it's negative? Fear for that makes me want to stay in here..._

_2.) Stay in here until I think he's left._

…_that sounds ishy as well. It smells in here… and I'll probably drive myself crazy waiting for that long._

_3.)… Leave and try to go home without Len noticing?_

…_I don't even know anymo-_

…_Okaaay… so…um.. last two options are pretty much impossible now…_

_I got another text from Len…_

"_Rin, plz come out of the bathrm… we need 2 tlk… trust me."_

…_I know Len won't come in here… he knows as much as I do that, in a battle of each other's patience abilities, he's gunna win…and now that it's started, waiting at all seems pretty pointless…But I think the thing that makes me want to come out of the bathroom most is those last two words…_

'_trust me.'_

…_They…make me hopeful. It reminds me that the same guy I'm pretty much cowering in fear from is the same guy I've spent the 14 ½ years of my life with…_

_I wonder… if growing up together had as much of an impact on him as it did me?_

_I wonder if, sometime, in the middle of all of our adventures together, he began to feel something as well…_

_I wonder if, by some miracle, I, no, WE have a chance…?_

_I suppose now would be a good time to find out._


	20. Twin Confessions

_This Journal belongs to: Len Kagamine_

_Phone Number: …If I DO lose this, I am NOT having some crazy fangirl use my phone to return it to me…_

_Age: 14_

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1026/11_

_Subject: Twin Confessions_

_Yesterday, I finally decided to talk to her. I spent the previous days going over in my mind how I should bring it up, what I should say, etc, all preparing for that moment._

_We had been in a meeting with the Vocaloid crew and its staff. Not unlike most times this happens, I wasn't paying attention one bit. However, for once, I actually had something more important on my mind._

_With a deep breath, I made the decision. I pulled out my phone and quickly sent her a text asking her to meet me behind the building when this stupid get-together ended. Then, I merely crossed my arms and stared at some smart guy from Yamaha, nodding occasionally, while I prepared my mind for my upcoming encounter with my twin._

_Time passed slowly, but it did indeed pass, nonetheless. When it ended, I attempted to act like I normally would, talking to a few people to get the important, simple explanation of what everyone talked about, all the while keeping my attention focused on Rin. _

_She looked… panicked. Her eyes shot back and forth fearfully, and I clenched my fist, feeling a pang of guilt and regret, however, I remained fairly composed, laughing about a joke spoken by someone in the small group of people I stood with that I failed to hear. However, despite my regret for causing her anxiety, I still remained determined. There was no denying what happened between us. Now, the next thing to do is decide what we're going to do about it. I refuse to sit in this lost stage of confusion and curiosity any longer._

_Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched her. She walked rigidly toward the door, getting ready to leave the room. Her motions started out slow, but as she neared the exit, I saw her begin to walk faster. Call it twin telepathy or whatever, but by seeing her tensed movements, I quickly realized that she was about to take off running._

"_Excuse me," I told the small cluster of people, making them stop mid-conversation to gaze at me, "I'm sorry, but I just forgot I had homework I have due tomorrow. I'm gunna start heading home. See ya!" I walked a bit faster than my usual pace towards the door, taking off in the same direction as Rin as soon as I was out of sight. _

_I rounded the corner at the end of the hall, and I barely caught a glimpse of a door closing with a light 'thud.' Catching up to it, I looked at the small sign posted on the door and sighed._

_Women's Restroom._

_Despite my strong suspicion that she wasn't really in there to use the restroom, I decided to give her some time, just in case. _

_One minute passed…_

_Then another…_

_And another…_

_Then two more…_

_I could barely hear small, panicked mumbles from within the restroom. Taking that as enough reason to back up my belief, I pulled out my phone and texted her._

"_Rin, plz come out of the bathrm… we need 2 tlk… trust me."_

_Through the door, I could hear 'Jabberwocky Jabberwocka' play for an instant, ending with the click of a phone being flung open._

_My lip twitched, feeling slightly amused. However, as the humor slowly left, I found that a smile still remained plastered on my face. _

_If she put the song we kissed to as her ringtone… _

_Surely that can only be a good sign, right? _

_I tried to calm down my smile a bit as she walked out of the restroom. She stood firmly a few feet in front of me, and I could feel the air around us begin to buzz with anticipation for what was to happen next. Our eyes meet dead on for the first time in a long while. _

_"Wanna take this conversation outside?"_

_She nodded in response, and completely in step with each other, we walked down the hallway a bit and exited out the back door, listening to it 'click' behind us. _

_As we walked out, we were greeted with a beautiful sunset, the rays of our large star dying the sky in a deep shade of pink, and it's reflection in the sea below, just past a mile of plain grassland, only heightened it's beauty. _

_A light breeze swept through, carrying the smell of fall. With a tiny chuckle, I pulled up the lame conversation starter, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"_

_"Yeah," she replied, gazing out at the sight. _

_I gazed at Rin, watching as she turned to face me, her face reflected that of guilt and embarrassment. "Len…" she started. _

_A few moments passed with no continuation. "Yes?" I coaxed her on. _

_Her eyes stared into mine as if searching for something before going on, "…a few nights ago… while we were…erm… dancing…" she trailed off, eyes falling to the ground._

_"We kissed," I stated, getting the point out there pretty bluntly. She tensed and gasped at the claim, then resumed an expression of more embarrassment and guilt than she held before._

_"Y-yeah…" she stuttered, and my mind filled with the single word, 'kawaii…'_

_"Ano…I… I'm sorry…I did'n-"_

_"Rin," I interrupted, seeing where she was going, "you don't have to __apologize__ for our kiss." With the slightest bit of amusement, I added, "In case you've already forgotten, we pretty much initiated it both together."_

_"Both at the same time…" she chuckled slightly, shaking her head; she appeared to momentarily fall into her own little world. "Just like one would expect from twins… well, that is if they expected twins to be kissing." She laughed at the dark humor, and then began to come back to the world us both live in. "No, I haven't already forgotten. I've far from forgotten anything that happened that night."_

_"Me either," I admitted softly. _

_A few moments passed by with neither of us speaking, the only sound being the wind whistling between us._

_Our eyes connected once more, and I took it as my cue to speak. "Rin…the kiss…do you regret it?" _

"_I…" she started, and then replied quietly, "No, I didn't." She turned to me expectantly, waiting for a reply._

_I grinned a bit, her answer sinking in. "Me either." _

_Her eyes lit up almost instantaneously at my words. "Really?" she questioned, "You're not mad? You're not disgusted?" I shook my head._

"_Rin, do you have any ideas how many times I replayed that kiss over and over in my head?" I asked. When she shook her head, I continued, "It had only occurred to me a little while before that that I may like you a bit more than just a regular twin would, but at the time, I believed that I'd just attempt to live with it, grow up, and marry some chick I don't even like," She flinched, looking hurt, but I went on to clear up the wrong impression, "but when we kissed, all hope of attempting to live a life separate from you vanished…I love you, Rin. More than I should. And, call me twisted, but I fail to find what's so wrong about that."_

_At the end of my mini-speech, Rin surprised me. The gap between us closed immensely with two large steps, and she completely eliminated any space between our lips. _

_I'd returned the kiss immediately, relishing every last minute of it. The kiss didn't go as deep as our first had; however, the feeling and intent beneath it made it feel just as exhilarating._

_When our lips parted, Rin smiled at me, a tiny giggle escaping her lips, "I love you, too."_

_After that, we watched the sun fall behind the sea, and then walked home, hand-in-hand. We fell asleep snuggle up next to each other, and I woke up to the face of an angel. _

_We still have yet to tell the rest of the Vocaloids, but I'm sure they're gunna have to find out soon. We've been together for less than 24 hours, and we aren't doing very well at hiding it. I'm sure we'll have plenty of things to explain over the next week or so, and who knows how many cruel people may try to accuse us of being wrong,_

_But hey, at least we'll face them together_

_As twins._

_As best friends._

_As brother and sister._

_And as best yet, lovers._

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: One last diary entry from Rin awaits you all in the near future!)**


	21. A final Entry

_This Diary Belongs to: Rin Kagamine_

_I am: (Male or Female): Female_

_I am (age): 14 years old_

_I am (height): …I dunno_

_I like: Oranges_

_I love: Le-asdfjkejafioea-Leopards. I love leopards._

_Fdsfkesafl;elkfaewfeaowfpeowfkpoeawf_

_Fuck it. I love Len._

* * *

><p><em>Date: 1125_

_Subject: A final Entry_

_Update: Len and I have been going out for approximately 1 month now (Yay!) We've had some minor issues with rude people, but for the most part, people are surprisingly accepting of the whole situation… Apparently most people already suspected it long before we even admitted it to ourselves. _

_Sadly._

_-sweatdrop-_

_It's been about a month since my last diary entry… I haven't really seen a need for it. I'm finally _together _together with Len, and I find talking to him to be a LOT easier than talking… er… writing…kind of… to a diary. _

…_Well, on most occasions. _

_But for those few moments, I've found I'm able to somewhat sort it by talking to Quin. And I'm pretty sure, for multiple reasons, that should probably have me admitted to a mental institution, but hey! No one's found out yet, so I'm safe! And since I found out that she's pretty much just a REAAAALLY… really…incredibly… UNEEDEDLY honest version of myself, I've learned to cope with her._

_Sort of._

_Oh well, no one needs to know about that.  
><em>

…_Is keeping mental voices inside your head a secret from your boyfriend considered good or bad..?_

…_Considering her personality, I'ma say that keeping her a secret is a good thing for now._

_Anyway, I was reminiscing today, and I remembered this diary… It's so odd to look back on all of the memories I had stored in here…_

_Daaamn, I've changed a lot.._

…_Apparently Quin disagrees…  
><em>

_OH WELL._

_But wow… I am kinda pathetic with how slowly I went about things wasn't I?_

_And I went through a HELL of a lot of awkward situations because I refused to admit I actually loved Len for the longest time…_

_Ha! I even remembered when I first made this thing, and I wrote 'I love leopards' in attempt to cover up that I almost wrote 'I love Len'… I've ish corrected it now, but still…_

_Oh WOW… _

_This is the last page available of the diary… I've written so much in here… _

_Apparently Len has a little journal as well. He talked about exchanging them yesterday, but I turned him down. I dunno why… It feels like this is my own little time capsule of MYSELF, and I want to keep it private just a little longer…_

_Maybe, if we do end up exchanging them, I may get another diary? I wouldn't write in it as frequently (obviously)… but I'd be able to capture our little moments together that I'd really like to remember…_

_Who knows?  
><em>

_Hm… I'm running out of room… I guess this is goodbye, my little diary. I'll end it with a simple statement that seems to sum up my time with you._

_I am absolutely, undeniably (as much as I used to wish it was) in love with Len Kagamine, my twin brother._


End file.
